The Lifetime network show, Dance Moms, is raising eyebrows and becoming the show you love to hate and there is a lot to dislike. The little girls are paraded around in revealing costumes and dancing to mature themes. Abby Lee, the dance studio owner resembles a rabid dog barking at students and parents alike. The reality is this show does little to reveal the world of dance, dance moms, or even dance competitions. It is like most in the reality shows, a demonstration of women behaving poorly with no one calling them on it. These scenes could be played out on any of the Real Housewives programs. The difference here is that the children are caught in the crossfire and suffering all of the consequences.
(For thoughts on the dehumanizing effect of reality TV – read this opinion written by Dr. Keith Ablow: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/08/31/reality-tv-short-circuits-human-empathy/)
I am not saying “dance moms” (or more accurately “stage parents”) do not exist, they do. The reality of most of them is quite different. The women featured on this show are probably more common than the rest of would like to acknowledge, but the average stage mom you will encounter sabotages their child’s dance education in a much more subtle way… They want to see their children advanced to levels beyond their actual ability.
Attention All Stage Moms and Dads:
It is wonderful that that you are taking an active interest in your children’s education. You are paying good money for this and you should take the time to research the important aspects of the craft. BUT you need to trust that your child’s teacher is making a correct and unbiased assessment of their abilities. If you think that the teacher is incapable of this, you need to find a new teacher or studio. Strong arming your child’s teacher into higher level placement does nothing for your child’s education. If your child is progressed while he/she are lacking in the fundamentals of body placement, meaning muscle strength, and the awareness of engagement, they will forever be trying to catch up. These may not be apparently obvious to the untrained eye (ie – you). Most parents see the joy and performance quality of their child and not the subtleties of technique.
Your child needs the opportunity to grow and advance. You may think it is a status symbol to have them placed far above other children their age but it is not to their ultimate benefit. If at young age they have excelled to the point where they are matching or exceeding the advanced dancers at a studio, they will never have the opportunity to progress further. If you truly feel that is level your child has attained then you need to find a new school that can offer that level of dance in a class geared toward their age group.
Having your child in a class that matches their age group benefits them in two ways. One: they are allowed to spend time with children with whom they can form friendships. Dance requires the performers to interact on stage and have a connected bond and this is much harder to form between children possessing a wide age gap. Two: children learn in different ways at different periods in their development. For a teacher, it is important to class made of children who are in the same place developmentally so that the information can be transmitted them in a way that best allows them to understand it.
Ultimately you should find a teacher that you trust and allow them to exercise their own judgment when it comes to placing and advancing your child in class levels.
One last thought on Dance Moms - It seemed to me that every mom when out of earshot of Abby Lee, expressed legitimate concerns about the suitability of choreography and her behavior yet none of them take their business elsewhere. I am positive that Abby Lee and her students succeed and the level of technical ability I witnessed in the hour that I gave to the show was quite impressive for that age group, but I am not sure that this environment is giving their children any real advantage in their future careers as dancers. I am not a proponent of competitions but they are obviously a feature of the dance world that is here to stay and I see nothing ultimately wrong with them as long as parents and dancers maintain a balanced life. In reality, the only real competition in dance exists over auditioning for jobs and I am convinced that a studio that offers strong technique and a reasonable performance schedule will produce dancers that are just as competitive in the real world and will be just as valued by employers.
(For thoughts on the dehumanizing effect of reality TV – read this opinion written by Dr. Keith Ablow: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/08/31/reality-tv-short-circuits-human-empathy/)
I am not saying “dance moms” (or more accurately “stage parents”) do not exist, they do. The reality of most of them is quite different. The women featured on this show are probably more common than the rest of would like to acknowledge, but the average stage mom you will encounter sabotages their child’s dance education in a much more subtle way… They want to see their children advanced to levels beyond their actual ability.
Attention All Stage Moms and Dads:
It is wonderful that that you are taking an active interest in your children’s education. You are paying good money for this and you should take the time to research the important aspects of the craft. BUT you need to trust that your child’s teacher is making a correct and unbiased assessment of their abilities. If you think that the teacher is incapable of this, you need to find a new teacher or studio. Strong arming your child’s teacher into higher level placement does nothing for your child’s education. If your child is progressed while he/she are lacking in the fundamentals of body placement, meaning muscle strength, and the awareness of engagement, they will forever be trying to catch up. These may not be apparently obvious to the untrained eye (ie – you). Most parents see the joy and performance quality of their child and not the subtleties of technique.
Your child needs the opportunity to grow and advance. You may think it is a status symbol to have them placed far above other children their age but it is not to their ultimate benefit. If at young age they have excelled to the point where they are matching or exceeding the advanced dancers at a studio, they will never have the opportunity to progress further. If you truly feel that is level your child has attained then you need to find a new school that can offer that level of dance in a class geared toward their age group.
Having your child in a class that matches their age group benefits them in two ways. One: they are allowed to spend time with children with whom they can form friendships. Dance requires the performers to interact on stage and have a connected bond and this is much harder to form between children possessing a wide age gap. Two: children learn in different ways at different periods in their development. For a teacher, it is important to class made of children who are in the same place developmentally so that the information can be transmitted them in a way that best allows them to understand it.
Ultimately you should find a teacher that you trust and allow them to exercise their own judgment when it comes to placing and advancing your child in class levels.
One last thought on Dance Moms - It seemed to me that every mom when out of earshot of Abby Lee, expressed legitimate concerns about the suitability of choreography and her behavior yet none of them take their business elsewhere. I am positive that Abby Lee and her students succeed and the level of technical ability I witnessed in the hour that I gave to the show was quite impressive for that age group, but I am not sure that this environment is giving their children any real advantage in their future careers as dancers. I am not a proponent of competitions but they are obviously a feature of the dance world that is here to stay and I see nothing ultimately wrong with them as long as parents and dancers maintain a balanced life. In reality, the only real competition in dance exists over auditioning for jobs and I am convinced that a studio that offers strong technique and a reasonable performance schedule will produce dancers that are just as competitive in the real world and will be just as valued by employers.
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